I am late writing this, no real reason. Just never got around to doing it. The stick I picked for this week is compassion. Compassion, I believe, is something I have in abundance. I am finding though that more and more, my compassion is reserved for those who deserve it and it has its limits.
I cannot have compassion for someone who decides to shoot up a school because he was bullied. I cannot have compassion for a man who rapes and murders a woman because he's lonely in rejected. I can fight for better mental health and rehabilitation services, but my compassion for monsters has drained.
Sometimes, it's hard for me to be compassionate when I am having trouble. My spoons and energy run low, and there are times I just need to focus on myself. As I mentioned before, sometimes my compassion runs out. For example, I was trying to be compassionate toward this person who is going through a rough time physically and mentally, but she kept being super bitchy, snide, and rude to me. I'm sorry, but you don't get to treat a person like shit and expect them to take it. I would never be unkind, but I am not giving more of my energy to this person.
For this week I've been trying to be more compassionate toward myself. Not judging my judging, and letting things go.