Friday, February 23, 2018

Sticks, Sticks. Which Shall I Pick?

For my birthday, my boyfriend's mother got me a bag of what I call, "inspiration sticks." Popsicle sticks with labels that have various words on them. Since the beginning of the year, I have been picking a stick at the beginning of the week and writing about what it means to me. It is also my focus for the week (I'll carry it with me or bring it to work and leave it on my desk). Originally I was writing in a journal, but I've realized that I am more motivated to blog. So, here are the sticks I have picked thus far, and what each means to me.

Intuition: I used to think I had really good intuition, but I've realized that's not true. I tend to worry and become paranoid. I also have trouble reading people's tone, meaning, etc. It's part of my NVLD. However, I have really good intuition when it comes to my boyfriend. So, I guess that's a plus.

Stability: For the first time in a long time, I feel like I have stability. I've been at the same job, with the same partner, and living in the same place for nearly two years. I know that doesn't seem like a lot, but it's huge for me.

Love: Probably the most important thing to me. I often say I am a Star Sapphire (I have a tattoo) because they wield the emotion of love. The hardest thing about love is loving myself when it's difficult.

Vitality: Yoga has helped me tremendously with vitality. Both physically and mentally.

Spontaneity: This is not one of my strong suites. I like things planned, I like them to go a specific way. Even when I do something last minute, I have a certain way of going about it. I have a hard time being whimsical and just seeing where things take me. Once in a while, if I have nothing to do, and I'm bored, I might go out and wonder. But, if I am making plans with someone, I like to know what we'll be doing. I've gotten a little bit better since my boyfriend is the opposite and just goes with the flow.

Confidence: This is still hard for me. However, I've become a lot more confident in myself than in the past. Unfortunately, I still question myself and my abilities. I'm afraid of doing something wrong. I am continuing to work on this and trusting in myself.

Potential: I must have thought I had potential to succeed as an educator, or else I would not have gone back to school. I think sometimes I underestimate my potential, which ties into my confidence issues.

(By the way the title of this post is a play on one of the rhymes we use in the classroom).

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