Saturday, June 4, 2016

Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds

I had my first LSD experience, and like any good writer, I decided to record (with some help) the journey. LSD isn't like alcohol in that you forget what happen that next day, I just have a fucked up memory to begin with. Having Ginger with me as a “chaperon” (and he was relatively sober) helped, and I would not have done it on my own. On top of that he is someone I am comfortable and feel safe with. The stuff I had was pure LSD, made by the people who used to travel around with the Grateful Dead. Ginger told me it wasn't very strong based on his experience (he had taken a lot more than me before and it didn't really have an effect on him). I apparently had a different one. This isn't going to be linear, but here's what I experienced my first time on LSD.

Amount-It was on paper, and I had 3 pieces. One regular size strip, a half strip, and a tiny piece. I was told the amount I had was only about $3 worth. So, in retrospect, it wasn't a whole lot.

Start-10:30PM

First Thing
  • The hairs on my arm seemed to be standing straight up, almost coming off my arm.


Magical Bathroom
-The wall on the bathroom was coming out at me in 3D. There was even a hair hanging that was 3D. The toilet paper came out in 3D as well. I decided to call this “the magical bathroom.” The second time I visited the magical bathroom I was leaning against the wall and in became very orange (different shades). On the wall were these circles with white embroidered dots and white embroidered faeries in between and they were rotating around (Note the actual design on the wall were flowers).

Outside
  • Outside poured some seltzer on the ground and it started moving. Everything seemed to be popping out at me, and these designs started to “move” around.
  • Looking out the window the sky was falling down like dark blue sand (like you see in the sand art things), with a tiny bit of sparkle. It was like Lisa Frank and Luna from My Little Pony made a night sky.
  • I kept staring at the ground and suddenly maggots started to appear. Lots and lots of maggots, all around my feet on the ground. I said, “there's maggots.” So we went inside.
  • I thought there was another door when we walked into the green house and then again when we went back inside

The Bed/Bedroom
  • The sheets were like 3D “magic eye” sheets.
  • There were bugs all over the bed. I was very calm about this.
  • There were woodland creatures hiding in the pillows
  • The room started melting
  • I heard fireworks in the bedroom

Human Body
  • Belly button had teeth
  • Mole jumped from one spot to another
  • Pores on legs grew bigger then smaller
  • Mole “short circuited” revealing insides to be like a computer chip
  • Neck lit up like Glow worm toy
  • It looked like I was looking at a bug on a screen door on the tip of my finger.


Sex (yes I fully consented before anyone freaks out)
  • Completely left my body. It was like I was on an entire other level.
  • I'd start hyperventilating. Felt like I was having a panic attack and orgasm at the same time
  • I forgot who I was having sex with for a second.

Words
  • Words on pages I wrote started jumping around
  • When I wrote the letters would come off the page with my pen
  • My brain kept pulling the word “purple canopy”, telling me to write a feminism poem with the words in it.
  • I was having trouble with speech. I tried to say, “speech impediment” and it came out “speech impebebem”

Teleporting
  • When Ginger went to use the bathroom and came back up, it looked like his shadow was coming right at me. Then suddenly he was right in front of me, as if he teleported (ala Nightcrawler). He kept doing this teleporting thing, but from really short distances, like a corner of the room to next to me on the bed.

Time
  • Time was moving on different levels. Ginger said he was going out to have a smoke. On one level it seemed like we had been there for hours, he had come and gone on many cigarette breaks. In reality though, he hadn't even left and we were only talking for 5 mins. Just sitting in the room, sometimes it would feel like hours. How long has the conversation been? Hours or 5 minutes? It was like I was existing on two different planes of time.
  • While I was in the bathroom staring at the wall it felt like hours, but it was really 3 mins.
  • It was like I was living in two dimensions. I'd be far off, forgetting about my body, forgetting that I had to go the bathroom. Feeling like I was on a different plane. Then BAM! Suddenly I'd be back here on the plane (what I described as “reality”)

Selfies
  • Ginger took some selfies of us. As I looked at them he looked like he had aviator goggles on. His whole face morphed into this Disney prince, aviator, wavy ginger haired, aviator. I was this ugly, deformed girl with a square face. I kept looking at his face and it looked very ginger and pale (like Snow White pale, not sickly), bright, and handsome.
  • I started to come up with this fairy tale in my head of the aviator prince and the troll girl and as I kept looking at him, I got less ugly. I wasn't even upset that I looked ugly, because I was looking at the photos as if I was looking at photos out of a fairy tale take book.
  • One of the photos at one point looked like it was a sketch rather than a photo.

Love
  • I wrote his name on a piece of paper. Then I wrote love, over and over. Then love, pain, heart, burst, love, explode. Just words over and over. Page after page. I felt like I was in a trance. I felt like love had completely overtaken my body, it was overwhelming, powerful. It felt like it was going to burst out of me. It was all I was feeling, but I was feeling emotions about that emotion. I kept writing over and over, then I was crying. Bawling, it felt like all my emotions were pouring out.

After
  • Ginger and I laid in bed, he rubbed my back and we had a deep conversation about religion and how we see “god”.
  • I couldn't sleep so I laid on the couch and got lost in the RENT soundtrack.

End-3:30AM

It was a really good experience. Very therapeutic. I felt like all my barriers were down, free, clear, creative, beautiful. Relieved my stress and I felt much better after, fresh, which I really needed after the week I had. Not something I'd do by myself or on a regular basis, or even with someone who wasn't Ginger; but I'd do it again with him.

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