Thursday, March 3, 2016

March On-Day 3

One of the things I like about my job is how supportive my supervisors are. My direct supervisor always makes me feel comfortable and at ease when I talk to her. I had a few things that were bothering me, and I didn't feel anxious about speaking to her at all about them. We ended up having a great conversation and even chatting about some off topic stuff as well.

I've noticed I'm not letting little things bothering as much. Someone not giving me as friendly of a hello as I gave them, for example. I used to take this personally, but now I just take a step back and realize that it's not worth getting worked up over.

I had support group tonight. It went well, but I did have a bit of an issue. There's this one person who I butt heads with. I was typing a blog during group (the facilitator had leaned over and checked to make sure I wasn't typing about the group), and this woman calls me out in front of everyone. Now, this is the same woman who, a few weeks ago when I pulled her aside privately to ask her to please refrain from trash talking people in a safe space said, "well sometimes people don't always get what they want. You ever hear that expression?" I gladly showed everyone what I was doing and even explained to some that it was helping me focus. She continued to make a stink saying there was a rule against typing and texting during group. This was hilarious because people use their phones during group all the time,  and she's never had an issue with it before; and if she had such a problem with me typing then when did she wait until half way through group to say something? Needless to say, I got triggered pretty bad. People talked about how no one likes being called out publicly. For me it's a serious trigger that can lead to disassociation, panic attacks, rumination, and depression. Luckily another group member was there and able to pull me aside and talk to me.

After group a bunch of of went to a taco place nearby and hung out for a bit. They go every week, but I usually skip. It was really great to be able to get out and socialize with new people. Especially during March when I'm so on edge. I think that's part of the reason I was using my computer. I'm so hyper sensitive during this month that's it's very easy for my brain to wonder.

I give this day 7/10. The thing in group sucks, but I had great support. I also had some good interactions with students.

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