Thursday, January 28, 2016

January of Me-Day 22



Starting Thoughts
I took an MHD today. I woke up in a slight worried state; over what, I can't really pin point.  I think I always start to get general worry when things are going well in my life. When is the other shoe going to drop? My feelings of happiness are a distraction from my, "I have a bad feeling something is about to go wrong." I often don't feel right about getting "comfortable," because as soon as I do it all falls apart. For example, I'm finally starting to like my job and that worries me. I haven't been spoken to, but in my last job I wasn't until I learned no one was saying anything to me. So how do I know that there isn't this giant shoe about to drop? It's stuff like that, just when I think everything is going well. This doesn't seem like that type of place, but my paranoia doesn't know the difference. I can almost describe my mood as sort of a stalemate. I am scared to continue being happy, but I don't want to be negative. So it's like I just sit there in limbo. However, I am proud of myself for continuing to practice my skills and not self-sabotage.

Progress

  • Contacted my podcast customer service and found out my renewal isn't until the end of April. This gives me more time to convert my episodes to YouTube. I may even be able to pay for a subscription for one more year.
  • My friend showed me a website that automatically converts MP3 files into video format. I just have to upload the MP3 and a photo. Not only that but it also uploads them to Youtube without having to do the extra step. This is going to save me so much time! It's super quick too!
  • Went food shopping.


Mindfulness/Other DBT Skills
  • Morning yoga.
  • Felt paranoid about several things, and contact a friend to talk.
  • Was initially snippy with someone online, but apologized to them. Sometimes I feel shame and it's hard for me to apologize.
  • Day 8 of 30 Days of Yoga Camp.
Highlights

  • Wallet I lost over the summer was mailed back to me.
  • Got the expired gift card in the wallet replaced.
  • Found another can of cat food I had dropped (so all cans have been found).
  • Went to support group.
  • Went to the Ether Dome at MGH before group.
  • Was asked by a group member to be part of a photo documentary that captures the daily lives of mentally ill people.
End Thoughts
Continuing to do a good job of getting myself into wise mind and using my skills when I start to have worry thoughts. Today was a little bit tougher, but I still did everything I was suppose to (yoga, went to group) and I didn't give into my impulses.

No comments:

Post a Comment