Tuesday, January 19, 2016

January of Me-Day 13



Starting Thoughts
Back to reality today. I was actually surprised that I was able to transition so well. Usually I feel a lot of despair when things end, but I didn't feel that this time. I felt "ready". What I didn't feel ready for was how cold it was this morning.

Progress
  • Checked with Megabus to see if I can trade in a reservation. I thought about the fact the show is in February and it could very well snow, and I didn't want to take any chances. Turns out I can trade my reservation in up to 6 hours before my old one (though I obviously would be doing it long before that). I checked with my friend I'm staying with and he told me if need be I could stay with him a few extra days.
  • I also changed my return trip to a little bit later so I could have some extra time in NYC. I've never been to the Met and would really like to go.
  • I'm starting to like my job a little bit more than I did before. The staff is actually really supportive and I feel like I have a voice. As frustrating as the kids are, they are actually starting to grow on me. It's still not my ideal situation, but at least it's a supportive environment. 
  • During the con one of the panelists on the "Let's (Actually) Talk About Sex" panel told me about Pleasure Pie. I looked them up and one of their projects is Sex Positive Boston (who's Facebook group I've been in for a while now). They hold meet ups once a month, and I totally plan on going!
  • Found a writing group that seems to be my style! They have a meet up tomorrow that I will be attending.
  • I'm going to start reading up on different religions. I know my beliefs (karma, there is an afterlife, gemstone magick, reiki, nature has a spirit, souls exist), however what I'm unsure of is the concept of god/goddess and what actually happens to you when you die and how everything was created and all that junk.
Mindfulness/Other DBT Skills
  • Morning yoga.
  • I wanted to start getting back into doing longer yoga practices (tried looking into classes, but they are too expensive), and I found a "30 Days of Yoga Camp" series. It's actually done by the same person who did the "30 Days of Yoga" I did last year. These are all about connecting the physical and mental body. That's the type of meditation I like, "active meditation", as I call it. I did day 1 today.
  • While online I started to get into an argument with a girl who also had BPD. She was clearly in emotion mind and starting to set me off as well. I started to react, but realized she was projecting her anger onto me, and told her I was sorry for being unkind and that she deserved love and that I loved her.
  • Remained calm and explained my opinion and view calmly instead of flipping out like I usually do during a couple of online conversations.
  • My roommate said something that got me angry and I was about to start yelling at him, but instead I left the room and did my yoga.
Highlights

  • I've been frustrated by how discipline is handled in our classroom. One of the students was saying some pretty disturbing things, and nothing was done about it. It's always, "it's the age" or "it's been a long weekend." I'm sorry but when a student is calling another student a "he-she" or "dirty and ugly" or telling someone "make sure you kill him in the bathroom" or making comments about the bloods and crips? I feel something needs to be done. Because yes, they are young, but this is where it starts and as teachers we need to make sure this is where it ends. I took matters into my own hands and had a talk with him and his teacher as well as contacted school mental health, the school mentor and some other people.

End Thoughts
Good day over all. Was able to stay in wise mind, and use my skills naturally. Transition from nerd world to real world went smoother than expected. 

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