Thursday, June 11, 2015

Positive Progressive Points

After a week or so of dealing with some pretty heavy depression I've recently had several "Borderline triumphs." These are situations in which I can point out I effectively used my skills, and had a different outcome than I may have in a similar past situation.  Sticking with my penchant for bulleted lists, allow me to share;

  • When trying to several of my jeans and finding them to be too tight, I reminded myself that they had recently shrunk in a friend's dryer due to the heat being too high. I also found out that I am not the only person this has happened to.
Past:  I would have freaked. I would have convinced myself that I had gained so much weight I was outgrowing my wardrobe. I would not have even considered that jeans are very easy to shrink (or that the rest of my cloths fit just fine).

  • When talking to Rob he seemed distant and short. I was able to remind myself of several factors contributing to his aloof demeanor.
Past: I would have instantly blamed myself, or assumed he was mad/annoyed at me,

  • During group we talked about radical acceptance. Radical acceptance is acknowledging that things are as they are in that moment. It doesn't necessarily mean agreeing with the situation, but rather knowing that life isn't always perfect and order to change our reality we must first accept it.
Past: I admit I've been having a difficult time with not contacting him, but  I realized something tonight. I usually contact him either when I'm feeling really down and alone (and have little will power) or when I'm having a really good day and thing, "I'm on a roll today! Lemme give this a try!" But in the end I always end up feeling worse about myself. At this point if he wants to contact me he will. I'll probably send him a message on his birthday, but I'm going to try my best to to contact him anymore.
  • I went dancing on Monday and saw someone I had not seen in a while, and was thrown a bit off guard. I remained calm and used the skills I learned that week to get through.
Past: Cry, have a panic attack. I also would have posted several vague and passive aggressive messages on FB. I didn't do any of these things.

While these may seem minuscule in the grand scheme of things, it is the little victories that eventually add up to noticeable changes and progress. Running a mile is something to be proud of, but much more impressive when it's revealed that that mile is actually part of ten. I know I still have a lot of progress to make and that I am more than likely going to stumble many times, but if I continue to work on my self validation then improvement will come much quicker and easier for me.

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