Thursday, April 30, 2015

Walking Out With My Head Held High: Romance & Options, Part II

When I started dating Gordon I wondered if I really liked him or liked that he was the next thing after Pete.

A lot has happened between us, and now something is perfectly clear. He is not someone I want to even be friends with.

I understand my actions in a lot of cases were wrong, but I in no way control his reactions to those actions. I do not make him drink, as he says. I do not deserve to be verbally or physically abused (he shoved me after forcefully taking my phone from me). I don't deserve to be yelled at and treated as less than human.

It's funny, people like to tell me I use my disorder as an excuse or a crutch. When in reality my disorder gets used by other people far more often as an excuse to treat me like shit, dismiss things I say, and attempt to make me question my sanity.

I feel bad for Gordon. He seems to need a lot of help and he doesn't realize it. I know I'm difficult to deal with, but the things Gordon has said and done go far beyond not dealing.

Option B gets a big red X.

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