- The feeling that I'm not allowed to struggle. Too many times I've hit a rough patch, and people have treated me (or implied) like all the progress I had made is now null and void. It's like I hit the "go back to start space" on a board game. Judge me by the long run, not the short spurts.
- When people don't explain why they are upset with me. Look, it may seem like I'm trying to play dumb, but I have severe memory issues. A lot of times I won't exactly black out, but I will sort of disassociate. This means after when my mind is clear I may not remember something I said or did. If I ask please explain. Please do not say something like, "you know what you did!" I also have issues with retreating memory in a linear way. So while it may seem like I'm lying it's just that I'm having trouble remembering things in order.
- People who do things knowing it's going to trigger my BPD. If I'm dealing with someone who just cut off contact with me for know reason and you know I need support, please don't go and do the same exact thing to me!
I recently got the "Self-Care" journal by Rachelle Abellar. It's filled with exercises for creativity, self-esteem, coping skills, and more. I've been working on a few pages each day and night. I really like it a lot!
I start my group DBT this coming week. I've had a rough month, but I'm hopeful things will get better soon. I think maybe I needed to go through a breakdown to have more clarity? I'm a strong person and I've been through a lot on my own, but I always make it through. I'm proud of that. I'm proud of how far I've come. Even if other people don't recognize it.