Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Things I've Come to Realize


  • The reason yelling is a big trigger for me is probably because I got yelled/screamed at a lot at a youngin'
  • When I was younger I wanted to work with adolescence. I've been focused on trying to find a job where I get to work with young kids (latency age). I was considering anyone above 15 too old. Why? adolescence is usually 12-early 20s. Then I realized. My issues really started manifesting at 14, 15, 16 years old. So even though I'm 31 now, and people that age are youth to me, I still consider them "around my age". Because in my mind I am still that insecure 15 year old. 
  • I was very, very angry as a teen.
  • I've had BPD longer than I've realized.
  • I was always saying how I was "really going to change this time" and "really meant it." I realize now that it was always to impress other people or for someone else.

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