Sunday, April 13, 2014

When the Red Comes Out

While it doesn't come out as often as it used to, I still tend to have very explosive anger. My friend L and I drove over an hour so I could get a kitten today. I get very frustrated when I don't know where I am, and unfortunately I was quick to anger and got very irritated. I'm trying my best to forgive myself. I know everyday won't be perfect sunshine and roses. I just feel bad. I feel bad I wasn't able to do what I told myself I would do. Take a deep breathe before reacting. I love L, but since she's a lot more extroverted than I am it can be overwhelming. I don't want to say something that's going to hurt her (or anyone for that matter) feelings.

I did some meditation (only about 6 minutes). I want to try to do the following four every morning for at least the next month. I say month because I think the reason I am not consistent with things is half of my brain goes, "I'm going to do this thing every single day!"and the other half goes, "Really? Every day? For the rest of your life. Ha! Good luck!" I think giving myself short time goals is key.

  • Sun Salutation
  • 10 minutes of meditation
  • Zumba abs
  • Take vitamins  
The last one I will hopefully definitely keep doing after a month. As for the others I will just go from the next point. Thinking of things in terms of "forever" is overwhelming. Plus it's not realistic. I know for a fact I will not do zumba abs every morning for the rest of my life. It's about staying in the moment, and taking baby steps.

I also want to do the following at night (again having a finishing point then starting again from there)

  • 10 minutes of meditation
  • Reading
I'm just trying to improve myself and take things one day at a time.

That's all we can do, right?

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