Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Changes

One of my 2014 life lessons is, "The only person who has the right to judge my progress is me." I am literally the only person who can compare me to me. I can compare the me from a year ago to the me today, I can compare the me today to the me five years ago. Everyone who meets me only knows me from a certain point in my life. They cannot compare the point they met me with a past me, not unless I describe the past me in detail. Even then, they may not even understand the change. Especially if they still see flaws.

I'm not saying I never do the follow anymore, but here are behaviors/traits that I have either significantly improved on or incidents including them are very few and far between:

  1. Screaming at customer service people either on the phone or in person and threatening them. 
  2. Saying the meanest thing I can think of to people. I've wished horrible things upon strangers, friends, and their loved ones.
  3. Texting someone 40 times in a row if they don't text me back right away.
  4. Cutting.
  5. Promiscuous sex.
  6. Impulsive spending (at least not like I used to)
  7. Bringing someone down because I am insecure around them
So, for those who don't think I've changed. Simply put, you're wrong.

I have a lot I need to work on. I still slip up, I still let my BPD brain dictate things to me. I know I am still on a journey, but every stumble and step brings me more insight, guidance, and wisdom.

I am a much different person than I was a five years ago, a year ago...it may not be as noticeable to some people, but it is to me. And that's all that matters.

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