Thursday, March 6, 2014


Ugh. I hate when I start to wonder about the "other shoe". It's like I can't just be happy with positive stuff. I have to think, "when is it going to go bad?", "This probably won't last long, might as well prepare myself for the inevitable end."

That's what I hate about things going well. The fact that things change. And while it's very likely they could change for the better, the entire concept of change is frightening to me. In my mind it's either going to be all wonderful or all terrible, and since I'm more of a pessimist, signs usually point to the latter for me.

I'm trying to use distraction as well as letting myself feel the feelings, but not holding on to them.

Like I keep saying, it's hard to train my brain to think differently from the way it always has. But I know I'm sick of things that make me happy, making me sad. I'm sick of not being able to enjoy the moment. So, I'm going to keep doing my best to implement DBT skills.

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